smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
