That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
