I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
