I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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