I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
