idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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