just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
