What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
