I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
