How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
