The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
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