Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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