cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
