I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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