I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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