Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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