He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
