she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
