everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
