You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
