He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
