So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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