You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
