And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
