one two three fourrrrnication!
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
