She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
