so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
