...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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