If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
