this just has baby written all over it
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
