awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
