update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
