I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
