six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
