Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
