no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
