you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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