I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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