we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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