We named our party play list daddy issues
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
