The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
