I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
do herpes really smell.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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