He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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