i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
