I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Randomize
