I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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