butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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