Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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