He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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