She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
