Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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