I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
