so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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